how to write an amazon review for your own book

DOES ANYONE ELSE get the feeling that a bunch of the especially-glowing reviews on amazon are written by the authors themselves? of course you do, because a bunch of them probably are.

there's a certain kind of reverent tone to some of these reviews, and it rarely fails to creep me out. why? well, i'm reminded of two different approaches to selling oneself in the dating game. approach a (for 'american') is to list one's good qualities, especially one's sense of humour, humourlessly. approach b (for 'british') is to tell everyone you are a poltroon, thus displaying a sense of humour. i'm drawing a kind of use/mention distinction here.

anyways: i'm from australia. we embody some uneasy mix of american and british ways of doing things, and i've got enough of the british sensibility to be creeped out by attempts to sell oneself too strong. i can't defend it philosophically, mind you: it's no more rational than my fondness for vegemite. but it's how i am, and it's part of why i wish the following review (for this book) had been written by the author, even though it probably wasn't:

The characters are unlikable and they behave in ways that make no sense at all. But the author is such a good writer and the story is so well told that I couldn't put it down.

now that, gentle reader, is an effective review. and if it'd been written by the author, i wouldn't mind.